- Bad Idea Racing - HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

Late Edit:  After pondering on my post this morning I realized there needed to be some editing done on it.  One might have got the wrong impression while reading it in its original form.  I do not function very well at the beach, and thus my occasionally reflected angst in regards towards beach trips.  Relaxing is something I do not do very well, but I go to the beach to spend time with my family, as that’s something I really do enjoy.  My body and brain are used to a go-go-go world,  and it’s hard to remove myself from that and just RELAX.  My family is the most important thing in the world to me, they are my reason for being alive (it’s easy to forget those kinda things even around THANKSGIVING), and I would never want it to sound differently. 

Yesterday morning I pulled up the Gmap Pedometer and eight billion clicks later I got an estimate on the total distance I’ll be riding tomorrow.  As long as I stay on my route I should be in our rental house after 235 miles (or so) of effort. 

Meh.

This ride started as an idea so many years ago that I can’t even remember when, but I would guess at least four to six years ago would be close.  I asked around on a local forum (smallbrowndog.com R.I.P.) to see if there was a “safe route” to Oak Island, NC , and someone ( I can’t remember who) came up with a cue sheet.  I printed it off and laminated it with packing tape to be used if I ever lost my sanity and decided to follow through with the idea.  Since then the cue sheet has been laying in various places in my bike room to remind me of a challenged not yet faced.  Every time the family was headed down to Oak Island I would pull out the cue sheet, and then I would pull out my list of excuses to not ride to the beach.  Last year our trip was a few days after La Ruta, so it was quite easy to worm my way outta it, but this year, other than the fact that I’m in the worst shape I’ve been in a long time, I have no excuses.  It’s go time.

What’s the plan?

I’m gonna go to bed tonight around 9:00PM and wake up at 2:30AM   After some oatmeal and coffee I plan to be dressed and out the door before 3:30AM and headed East with two bottles of Gatorade on the bike, two in the BD2, and 100oz of water in my bladder (the BD2 bladder, not mine).  If everything works out I should be out of the Uwharrie Mountains before dawn and headed to the flatlands and swamps that lie between Biscoe, NC and the Atlantic Ocean.  Hopefully I’ll be safe and sound eating Tofurkey Day dinner sometime after the sun goes down.  That’s the plan anyways…

I’ve ridden a double century (+4 miles) before, a long, long time ago with Big Worm.  We took our time, had plenty of stops, and did it with a summer day’s worth of daylight.  I know this is only 30+ miles more, but this time the trip will be much more self supported, totally solo, cold, and with a healthy portion of night riding.  The worst part will most definitely be the featureless and convenient storeless stretches in the middle of nowhere that will come up in the last eighty miles or so.  The mountains won’t be so bad because I won’t be able to see them coming… right??

More than thirteen years ago I lived in NE Ohio, and I used to ride my road bike all the time.  The “good trails” were over an hour away by car (and were only dry three days a year), and I had rolling rural roads minutes from my front door.  When I moved to Charlotte I found dry trails almost year ’round, mountains just a day trip getaway, and rural roads crowded with roadies and rich folks living too far from their jobs that were an urban sprawl nasty away.  Needless to say my road bike collects a lot of dust now, and I my tastes have changed.  I used to go out alone or in groups for 20-80 miles of OH/PA pavement, but now I rarely head out alone on a road bike.  I “like” to join in on group rides where someone else knows the route, and I just tag along.  I find road riding moderately pleasant up to the 50 mile mark, and then my attention span wanes, and I regret my decision to put air in my road tires and go out for some saddle time.  When it’s colder than 40 degrees outside I don’t even wanna think about skinny tires and 20+MPH windchills.  There’s a reason I live down south…

So now I’m gonna head out the door, through urban sprawl after urban spawl, in the dark, in the cold, past the 50 mile mark by about 185 miles, alone, finding my own route, carrying a ton of shit…. and why??

So I can say it’s done, and I’ll never have to do it again.

Period.

I figured out another use for the horizontal slashes in the Ergon shoulder straps…

Holding my sunglasses, or as the engineers at Ergon would refer to the slash “Optical Protection Device Temple Channel”.

I think since the engineers at Ergon don’t really suggest how to use all the features on their shoulder devices they should come up with a creative suggestions forum.  The following topics (and more) could be discussed:

Hey look, I found another pocket
Things you can carabiner to your those little loops of cord on the shoulder straps
What do you do with the two pieces of webbing on each side of the main chassis?
Can I have an Flink surgically mounted to my back?
Where do you carry your camera?
Strap adjustment for beginners
How much weed can you fit in the Weed/Not Weed pocket?
Were you disappointed when you looked into the pocket labeled “COVER” and found a rainfly instead of a fake moustache, glasses, and a passport with a new identity?
Will there ever be a “Hello Kitty” version of the BC3?
Can I legally marry my Ergon shoulder device in California?

Obviously the topics may get a little outta hand, but remember kiddies… it’s just the internet.  Opinions are like assholes, they’re both connected to a duodenum and a jejunum by a lot of squiggly gross organs.

I should mention that The Pie thinks the ride to the beach is a great idea because I’ll be too tired to do anything BUT RELAX this time around.

Who wants to place bets on how far I’ll be into the ride when I start deeply regretting my decision to go through with this?

Residual effects of Sunday’s ride are rearing their ugly head.  The 3-4 times I touched the floor have left me feeling just a bit sore.  One banged up knee, some soreness in my upper body and this:

Shitty picture, but you get the point.  Something tried to enter my leg, or I got a tattoo of an olive meteor while hanging out with my sailor friends this weekend (Bill Nye was a seaman in a former life).

I still love Sinkhole, even though she can be a cruel mistress.

Here’s Sinkhole from June 2007:

Here it is from last Sunday:

pic cred: Eric Wever

And here’s what it looks like when it’s in motion:

vid cred also Eric Wever

Man, I love Sinkhole.  Think there’s anything like it on the route for TransIowa next year??

Anyways, sore or not I’m gearing up for my Ride to the Beach for No Reason ‘08.  The Colnago Mega Master (no relation to Master Blaster) is primed and ready to fire.

I put my comfy mountain bike saddle on (WTB Silverado Thinline) and my XTR pedals since I don’t have roadie shoes that are big enough for some thick wool socks.

I started sorting through my gear last night too.  Since I’ll be starting out in the 20’s and finishing in the 50’s so I’m glad there’s plenty of room in the BD2 for my extra crap.

Last night I figured out where I could stick my camera.

I found these weird little slots in the shoulder straps of the BD2 when I first inspected it a coupla weeks ago.  I wondered what the hell they were for, and then last night it hit me.  The useless clip on the back of the camera case slid right in there tighter than a bull’s butt in fly season.  I should be able to take photos the whole way, but don’t expect any good ones.  Just because I have easy access to a camera does not necessarily mean I learned how to use it.  Also those are gels stuck in the Weed/Not Weed pocket that fits in the small of my back.

I can place the full blame on Jeff Kerkove that I am forced to go on this ride.  Had I not recieved the BD2 before the family beach trip I woulda been hopping in the car with the family unit.  I don’t have an excuse now as I’ll be able to shed clothing and store it away all day without the displeasure of using my old not-up-to-the-task Camelbak. 

Meh. 

More about the Ride to the Beach for No Reason ‘08 tomorrow.

The better part of Saturday was eaten alive by family duties, but around mid-afternoon I got the call from Jeff that a custom frame was ready for me to look at (but not ride).  Confused?  You should be.  My friend Jeff has decided to pursue a long time dream and make bike frames.  He has been welding every type of metal imaginable for years, and it was a natural choice for him to mix his talent with his love of two wheeled HPV’s (not Human Papillomavirus, but human powered vehicles).

So anyways Jeff asked me to meet him at Ultimate Bicycles to look at the frame.  He didn’t want me to take it with me since the paint had a couple runs in it, and he wanted it to be perfect when I got it.  When I got there he had just stepped out, so when I saw the frame I was inclined to take it and run.  Jeff got back before I made my escape, but I ended up talking him into letting me build the bike up to take to the mountains on Sunday.  He chased and faced the frame and met me back at my house for the build.

It was only Jeff’s second frame, and as I’ve come to learn when dealing with the custom bike business is that there are often “oopsies” on most frames, and Jeff’s was no different.  We were able to work around the “oopsies” and build a bike just the same.

The frame was designed using some numbers from my old Thylacine frame (HTA, STA, and HT length).  Other than that the bike had multiple improvements.  We went with a lower top tube, sliding drops, and a front fender mount all on a frame built with True Temper OX Platinum tubing weighing in at 4.56lbs.

Sunday I took the bike to Wilson’s Creek to ride with ten other sports enthusiasts.  We had three Charlotte messengers, three former Charlotte messengers, and five others who had yet to deliver a package in the 704.  Bill Nye, Big Worm, LeYonce, Wever, Mike B, Ian, Bubba Cohen, Skiddaladophy, Fennell, and Tommawicki.  A gathering of such a diverse group of friends like this was an unprecedented event that shall probably never be seen again.  There were several folks who were new to the Wilson’s area and a bunch of us that shoulda not got us lost (but did) on the way to the waterfall overlook on Raider’s Camp.  It’s been awhile since I’ve seen so many spectacular leaf related crashes, and I’ll admit to taking three trips to the floor to add to the total.

I did a little Ergon BD2 durability testing while sliding down Sinkhole on my back for ten to fifteen feet (on my first attempt down the steepest pitch).  I’ll have more to write about the Ergon water and stuff carrying device later, especially after my 225+ mile solo ride to the beach this Thursday.

Eeeeegads!!!  Looking at that picture I thought I saw a tear in the fabric, but it’s just an illusion:

When I got home from Wilson’s the frame was stripped down to go back to Mothership Headquarters for some R&D work.  Jeff has come a long way from his first frame in only his second attempt, and I have little doubt that his next one might be right on the money. 

Two days till I ride to the beach.  Predicted temps for my 3:30-4:00am start are in the mid twenties.

Meh.

Since I was unable to make the swap meet a few weeks ago due to my unplanned trip to Ohio I’ve been scouring eBay and other establishments of cheap bike stuffery in order to fill certain needs that were left unfulfilled.  I prefer the one stop shopping experience of the swap meet with the haggling and parts bins full of overpriced, overused, and outdated crap as opposed to all the searching and “You have been outbid” emails.  I mean c’mon, somebody paid almost $200 for a pair of “lightly used” (not really) Sidi Dragons.  I should throw the Tinker Stinkers up there and see how much they fetch.

Anyways I finally got off the pot (or did I shit?) and purchased a tool that I have dreamed about owning for years.

In the past I have relied on the following methods to install headsets:

Block of wood and a hammer (efficient, but less than accurate).
Threaded rod and washers (went in crooked 90% of the time).
Azonic Headlock with a combination of washers, old piece of steer tube, and an allen wrench (20% success rate).
Back to the block of wood and hammer (100% effective and 100% ugly and unapproved).
And lest we forget….

The Peter Approved method of installation….
A common kitchen spatula using 1,500 even applied blows (as specified in the Anti-American Misfit Psycles Corporation of Death Assembly manual)

As I mentioned on Monday Eric from Cane Creek has been leaning hard on me to stop using tools that a caveman would consider crude and anything associated with the making of food in a kitchen to install and remove their finer products.  I knew things were getting serious when a couple of large men with earpieces and sunglasses came to my house on Tuesday and tossed my bike room searching for spatulas and blocks of wood with circular patterns embossed on their surfaces. 

I have to think that Eric is somehow connected to these two men (not in a gay way, but who knows??), and now The Pie is pissed because she has to flip her pancakes with a pair of Maxxis tire levers. 

She told me something like this would happen when I got involved with the Fletcher Creek Mafia.

Yes, I am going to tell you how great this tool is even though it’s a mail order exclusive.  I woulda loved to have bought a Park Tool equivalent from my LBS,  but at more than 2-3 times the price for a tool with the same features as the Sette from Pricepoint??  I just couldn’t justify purchasing a tool of this nature for more than $150.  The other cheaper option was Park’s Home Mechanic model, but it is no more than a glorified threaded rod and washers which means the alignment provided with the stepped cups goes out the window, and you’re back to installing your headset in the crookedest manner.

So even though there was absolutely no reason to install a headset the other night I went ahead and did it anyways just to enjoy the feel of a quality tool in my hands (there’s a phrase worth reviewing).

Now all you shop rats and tool elitists that have already known the pleasures of a proper headset tool can just go ahead and stop gloating.  I now have the power of smoooooooth headset installation in the comfort of my own home, and now I think I just might enjoy a little headset removal and installation to pass the time much like others may knit, whittle, or surf the internet for porn.

Speaking of porn, who doesn’t like to see a little close up of some insertion???

Oh yeah, that looks good… doesn’t it?  Of course it was much easier to get the headset in after I told the Niner frame just how pretty she was and how much I loved her….

Is it time for another (not necessarily on Thursdays, but it’s usually turning out that way) Sponsor Appreciation post?  Can I get a “Hell yeah”?  The next item up for bid on the Price is Right is Raxter Racks.

This was the hardest to accept sponsorship I had all year long.  When Mike Farney inquired about my interest level in a hitch rack VIA smoke signals I was conflicted to say the least.  I checked out what they had to offer, and I just didn’t know how to respond.  The list of pros and cons was made…

Cons:
I need to buy a trailer hitch to use it.
Buying a trailer hitch costs money.
I already have a roof rack that costs me zero dollars if I keep using it.
If I bought a trailer hitch I’d have to install it.
Installation of a trailer hitch on an Element requires “enlargement of some holes for easier insertion”.
I don’t like making sparks while I’m laying under a gas tank.
I wasn’t sure I was going to keep my Element (Obama wants me to drive a Prius).

Pros:
No more bikes inside my Dirty Little Box making my Dirty Little Box dirtier.
My bike would be tucked in my slipstream saving me gas money.
It would be easier to use than my roof rack when I’m too tired to lift my bike over my head.
No more messing with Element rear seat placement options.  Just leave them in all the time.
No more creative storage of front wheels inside the vehicle.
Apparently it can be used to haul spare women (who doesn’t need that option?).
More stuff from sponsors means more stuff to blog about.

So when Mike contacted me back in the spring I held off as I wasn’t sure I was going to keep my box past the fall.  With gas prices going up and up (my, how things change) I was looking into a Honda Fit or some pack mules and a covered wagon.  When I decided to keep my box I hit Mike back, ordered a trailer hitch, and got the ball rolling.

With the assistance of The Boy I got my $120 hitch installed.  I did not blow myself up while “enlarging my holes” with a Dremel, although as the sparks flew with the gas tank inches from my nose I realized it would be a good death.  Not exactly a struggle for survival with a black bear in the Klondike, but there would at least be an explosion and a hard to identify corpse.  The hitch even put a little more U in my SUV wannabe.

Now that I’ve had the rack I can say I’m quite glad I went ahead and got in bed with Raxter.  My usual modus operandi when carrying three humans or less (with the three bikes that would normally accompany them) was to just remove the front wheels and load it all in the back next to the back seat victim…errrr, I mean passenger.  That person would then be subjected to the shifting and usually unsecured load as I wound my way down the twisty roads in Pisgah.  Rotors touching pedals, frames mashing frames, wheels launched at foreheads…. such is the carefree lifestyle of the Element owner.  Just ask Adam Blumenthal about our road trip to SSWC05 and the paint job on his Walt Works and his front XTR rotor (sorry Adam).

Even when traveling to a local trail Eric Carmen style it was not just “toss the bike in the back and go”.  With all that room in the back I had to secure the bike with a few bungees, or else the bike had enough room to gain momentum as it was tossed about in the back damaging interior plastic pieces, rear seats, and whatever else got in the path of it’s wayward trajectory.  Honestly now that I’ve had some practice I can get my bike on the Raxter faster than loading it in the back of the box.  How ’bout that?

When it comes to hauling three or even four bikes this thing wins hands down.

Let me modify that statement.  I have yet to carry four bikes, but seeing how easy it was to load three bikes I’m pretty sure four would be just as brainless of an operation as three.  With the ability to stagger the bikes to reduce interference it just doesn’t matter like it would with a one of the other manufacturer’s racks.

I’m really, really happy with this rack.  No more stumbling around in my driveway in the dark at 6:00 AM trying to figure out who’s bike goes where on the roof rack to accommodate for handlebar interference (not so easy when everybody’s riding a rigid 29′er).  No more telling The Dude to take off both his wheels (the 20mm thru-axle and Saint slooooooow release rear) so we can cram it in the back with the three skinny XC queers front 29′er wheels in his lap.  The bikes go on fast and the early morning bitching and head scratching will be kept to a minimum.

Mike, I thank you, the passengers in my Dirty Little Box thank you, and The Pie thanks you (I used to store the back seats in the corner of the bike room known as “her office”).  Your rack will save me money on gas which I can spend on beer and racing, so everybody who reads my blog thanks you too since the blog is way more entertaining when I have money for beer and racing.

Amen.

Two more shill posts to go… sorta.  Of course I have yet to add Ergon to the list, and since I’ve done an alphabetical drive-by on them I’ll have to save then for last.

It is always such a pain to do anything after work… other than go to the bar.  I have to load my Dirty Little Box up early in the AM, leave for work ten minutes earlier than I do when I ride my bike, park my car on the outskirts of uptown, and ride in the rest of the way in.  Then when I get off at 5:00PM (just like thousands of other Charlotteans) I have to ride down to my car (unlike thousands of other Charlotteans), load up, and then hit the road giving the buckets a 10-15 minute headstart on the packed roads. 

But I had to go and want to do a cyclocross race last night…

I had to go with the Obama socks.  I started thinking maybe he didn’t mean “Change” our socks but maybe “Change” your cycling discipline.  Maybe I shoulda sported the McCain socks since I was being all Mavericky with my fixed gear (or maybe ’cause they’re $5 cheaper).

Cool socks or bare feet, it didn’t matter when it took me fifteen minutes to get myself the six blocks from my parking spot to the on-ramp of 277.  Then the drive became a jockey for position mad house that makes the start of a Megavalanche look civil.  I kept myself calm enough to not ditch my car on the side of the road by talking to Bill Nye and Eric “PMBAR Honcho” Wever on the phone about a mountain ride this weekend (on speaker phone/I’m not “that guy”).  About 45 minutes later I was at my exit no more than 13 miles from where I parked and doing my best to interpret my scrawled directions.  After driving up and down Statesville Road for a half hour and consulting two people on the phone I found out there’s a difference between OLD Statesville Road and the apparently updated (but not called “New”) Statesville Road.  I had all but given up on racing as the time approached 6:30PM before I found the park just a half hour before my start time.  As soon as I saw people snaking through the awkward chicanes and up and down the grassy hillsides all taped off hilly-nilly around the ball fields my heart was back in the game.

With the windchill it was somewhere in the low twenties last night.  I know, I know… weak southerners… whatever.  I’m only complaining about the fact that I had no idea how to dress for 45 minutes of intense exercise in those conditions, so give me a break.  When the large field of 3/4’s pulled off the course the 1/2’s and 35+ folks toed the line.  I think there were something like two or three 1/2’s and four or five 35+ riders at the start (results shall be posted some time today).  With my rather less than lofty goal being not getting lapped by the 1/2 field I let the leaders disappear from my direct line of sight within the first lap. 

I figured with the numbers on the line I would spend my 45 minutes riding around under the lights alone, but I found myself in the company of two others from the start.  Eventually one of us dropped away (not me), and it became a two man race (not including the guys in front of us who obviously were more concerned with going fast than racing with me).  The course had plenty of 90 degree turns that forced me to scrub speed early since I didn’t have any brakes that would allow me to pin it to the corners.  If I could get a gap on my mortal enemy he would easily close it on the turns or on the run-ups.  Oddly enough I was descending the steep pitches a little faster (probably because I couldn’t slow down), so we yo-yo’ed back and forth for what seemed like four hours (it was actually thirty minutes).

When my nemesis for the day and I came through and Neal called out “fifteen to go” I decided I would pick up the pace and see if I could drop him.  My lower back was cold and screaming in pain and my hands felt like blocks of ice, but since I doubted I could ride myself to death in fifteen minutes I gave it what I had, and the crowd (all seven of them) went wild (not “loud and crazy” style, more like “feral or “non domesticated”).  By the end of the lap I had my gap, and by the next lap it grew.  On the next lap it had either grown to a distance greater than one light year, my nemesis had fallen over the drop off on the outside of one of the 90 degree turns, or he had called it a day.  More than likely the latter rather than the two formers.

As cross and short track races usually end I had no idea where I had placed, but I was sure I was the last one on the course.  Neal said “Nice job Rich, second place” as I crossed the line and the fan went wild (once again the “feral” type of wild” looking in garbage cans for food, not “enthusiastic” wild like Belgian cross fans).  I think I said “Hooray me” and headed to the pavilion to find my US Air Force sub zero parka.

I really, really love cross even if I suck at it and will never invest in a proper cross bike.  We hace races all over the western side of NC, but I just can’t justify spending all the time, money, and energy pursuing another hobby.  I dream of a day when this shit catches on, and maybe we can have a weekend winter series IN CHARLOTTE that’s affordable with course designs that are as awesome as the one last night.  It would be sweet to have a few more elbows swinging into the corners. 

Thanks Neal and Arleigh (President of the Blog Correction Department of the Shrek Bicycle Store in Charlotte) for putting on such a great race.

BTW:  Arleigh got photos of the 3/4’s, but she musta decided that the 1/2’s and 35+ riders already had over-inflated egos and did not warrant a digital validation of their efforts.

Late Edit:  Meh. Went to grab my “cross bike” and head to work this morning and found that the front tire was flat.  I thought it felt a little soft in the turns…..

I got a big happy batch of stuff from the folks at the NUE the other day.  Anybody who finished at least four races in 2009 was eligible for some of the goodies, and my solid lock on sixth place in the single speed class netted some product from the NUE sponsors.   Of course it’s not all Thomson stems and glowsticks, so I did end up with some stuff I can’t use.  I gotta nice roof rack tray from Yakima, but I’m sure if you read my blog you know I’ve swapped over to a rear hitch rack from Raxter, so the tray had to go.  Lucky for me one of the Rob’s from Zerohorsepower.com needed a tray, but since he didn’t tell me he was coming to the Belmont Hairy Legged Road Ride this past Sunday for an easy transfer of goods we had to figure something out.  He works uptown and was under the impression that “we messengers” could carry “anything”.  That sounded like a challenge, so why not?

Let it be known that I only hit three low hanging limbs on the way to work (that I saw ahead of time) and one that I never saw coming that almost pulled me off the bike.  Great success!!

The view from the driver’s seat was a little different yesterday…

I decided to swap over to drop bars for a little cross action tonight.  Neal “Don King” Boyd is putting on a four race cross series on Tuesday nights under the lights.  How could I not try to do at least one race when it’s only $12?  I’ve never done a cross race on drop bars, so since I had some Midges laying around I figured why not?  I didn’t have any brakes that fit the bar and the bike at the same time, so I’m counting on my knees to hold up for the 45-60 minutes of dual duty (accelerator and brake).

Once again, one of the best parts of my job…

I get to ride whatever I want to at work, so I can test stupid set-ups over the course of a nine hour day.

The Wonderboy supplied me with this God-forsaken riser stem.  Hideous, but it does put the drops of the bars closer to where they need to be on my Berserker.  The box sticking outta the back of my shadow is NOT the Yakima tray.  Ironically my first job of the day was another ridonkulously long box.  Funny, huh?

Yesterday I got what a man would consider a “new toy”.

Honestly what makes a man feel more like a man than a new tool (please do not leave a comment regarding oral sex)?  The best kinda tools are the ones that only serve one purpose and rarely ever see the light of day.  Tensiometers, truing stands, water bottle cage alignment tools… they all bring a tear to my eye when I pull them outta their felt lined storage cases.  Actually I had no choice but to pick up some headset tools because I was taking a lot of flack from my boy at Cane Creek, or as you know him Eric Smith (seen here being arrested by a Buncombe County sheriff  when he was mistaken for Eric Rudolph).

photo cred:  Team Hoffenchard

Apparently when he saw me installing a Cane Creek 110 headset with a spatula (and 1,500 evenly applied blows) he was a little disturbed.  Even though I told him that’s how Peter said we should install a headset in ‘Merica Eric insisted that Bad Idea Racing get some quality tools, or they were gonna have to take back all the headsets, financial assistance, and Zebra Cakes they had sent me over the last few months.

Since I’ve already eaten the 2008 supply of Zebra Cakes, and I certainly didn’t want an interrupted flow in 2009 I started my tool acquisition with the simple yet effective headset removal tool from Park Tool.

I can tell how handy this thing is after one use.  It sure beats my old method of removal which entailed sticking a piece of steel rebar in the ground and swinging the frame over my head repeatedly till the headset flew out into the yard.  It has also does a fine job as a whisk, so I think I might keep it in the kitchen since I spend more time making omelets (not umlauts) than I do installing headsets.

Late Edit:  Holy horse shit.  It’s gonna be 35 degrees and windy tonight.  I don’t have a clue where my snowmobile suit is.  Do they still make snowmobile suits for people who don’t own snowmobiles?

Friday I was so geeked out out on my BD2 that I found a reason to wear it to work.  When I woke up to a rainy commute I figured what better way to keep my messenger bag dry than to strap it to my pack (using the kitty holster) and tuck it up under the rainfly.

It was marvelous and totally pointless, but such are the best things in life.

Saturday I just killed every worthwhile hour with household puttering and miscellaneous bike tinkering.   Sunday I decided to go on a Belmont Hairy Legged Roadie Ride with the folks from Zerohorsepower.  I don’t really do the road ride thing very often since I don’t know any decent routes, and when I go along with a shop ride the pace tends to be uber-competitive and the distance (usually 70-90 miles) is about 20-40 more than I really wanna do.  For me it loses it’s novelty somewhere before the fifty mile mark, and the rest of the ride I’m just holding on till I see my car again.  The BHLRR plan was for 45-50 miles of tooling around with a bunch of guys that spend way more time on knobbies than they do 23mm wide rubbers.

The right crowd showed up for sure.  Lemme see if I get this right…

Bubba Cohen - 1992 Trek 1400, mtb shoes, quill stem, hairy legs
Roach - steel Bianchi with loose spokes, mtb pedals, hairy legs
Sam - steel Ibis, hairy legs
Rob C - carbon Orbea, road shoes, Mavic so-pro wheels (who invited this guy?)
Johnny Mac Sack - Jamis with spoke guard still installed, mtb shoes, hairy legs
The other Rob C - Giant carbon commuter (with tail light and sagging saddle bag), mtb shoes, hairy legs
Blair - Steel Bianchi*, quill stem, hairy legs, mtb shoes, and a GPS (What’s this thing do?)

*Correction: Blair’s Bianchi was a Fuji Ace.  Fuji is Japanese for “wish I was riding a Bianchi”.

Surprisingly nobody had on baggie shorts and all chain wallets were left at home.  Rob (the other Rob) and Blair were from the town of our starting point and our leaders by default as much as by design.  We headed out and did the standard Hors Categorie climbs in the area (Spencer and Cramer mountain) before spilling over into South Carolina for a loop on some route semi-indicated by some painted W’s on the side of the road.  Somewhere around the 45 the other Rob C let us know that he really didn’t know where we were.  The ETA back to the car had came and went, and every third intersection became a meeting place for discussions of lack of food, money, and direction.  Morale dropped as some folks were pushing the limits of their ability to meet some time sensitive obligations that should have been no problem, yet here we were in South Carolina talking of mutiny and cannabilsim.  My oatmeal breakfast and pre-ride banana were no longer providing my shaking legs with the energy they required for forward motion, and I started to doubt my decision to not bring lights.

A few times Bubba Cohen thought he could smell a blood trail or something back to the car, so I jumped on his wheel in desperation.  We would be stymied by a poorly marked intersection within a few minutes and be forced to wait on the group for another meeting of the minds.  Hitting the 55 mile mark was a bit depressing.  If my memory serves correctly (things got fuzzy at points) we were still in South Carolina and possible headed to Georgia.  Ride estimates started projecting up to more than 70 miles before the day would be over.  At one point Blair pulled out his phone (it had the interweb), but it must be linked to the 1998 interweb as all it could tell us was “head north”.

At sixty and change we ended up on familiar ground and just a few miles back to the car.  We rolled into the parking lot with 66 miles for the day over four hours after we had rolled out.  That included pee breaks, water stops, intersection meetings, eating, phone calls when we got split up, interweb browsing, and various shenanigans.

Great ride.  Nobody died, lost a chain wallet, or had a loose quill stem.  Lucky day???  No, more like Dusty Bottoms.

Sometimes you can overplan these things.

Yesterday I was moping around work doing work related things and thinking to myself  “Self, even though it’s only a three post blog week we can’t think of anything to blog about tomorrow”. 

Such a scary thought.  Go silent the day after only posting my second ramble of the week?  One lame ride report, a little shill song and dance, and now I’m coming up empty?  What if I die over the weekend and leave that as my legacy?

Just a few hours later my phone rang.  The Boy was calling me from home to tell me I got one big box and one flat cardboard box from UPS.  The big box said something about “shoulder device” and “Ergon” on it..

Woohoooo!!

Crap.

Both thoughts dashed through my pea sized brain in a flurry of emotions.  Unnnhhh… I guess I should explain.

Remember back in October when I was talking about how I let the whole Ergon sponsorship thing fall through my fingers back in the summer of 2007?  No?  Well maybe you can remember last Friday when I was talking about preparing for The Most Horrible Thing Ever and how I was chasing Jeff Kerkove around the email world trying to get my hands on one of those BD2 hydration packs (beg your pardon, Backpack Motion System).

Originally I sent an email to Jeff regarding my status as an Ergon sponsored rider, and if I was now persona non grata in the eyes of the German ergonomic cycling device powerhouse and thinktank.  I wanted to get my hands on the GX1 grips since it’s the off season and a great time to try new things.  He informed me that while I was on Ergon Double Secret Probation I could still get a pair of grips, so he sent me one pair, standard issue, hand comfort device.

You’ll hear more about those in time, but right now we’re talking about the big Woohoo!/Crap box.

I felt like I might be pushing my Double Secret Probationary status a little too much, but I decided I would ask Jeff is there was any chance that I could get a BD2 for the upcoming TMHTE.  He said February wouldn’t be a problem, and that I might even see one as early as December.  A few hours later an idea popped into my head… the “crap” idea.

Last year I considered riding my Colnago Mega Master to the beach house the family unit was going to be staying at on Thanksgiving day.  I’ve had a route cue sheet in my hands for years since I’ve been pondering the trek for quite some time, but I’ve never had the balls or deep desire to pull it off.  The weather in November can be a tricky feat requiring cold weather gear for the early morning hours that needs to be stored later in the day, the convenient stores are few and far between on the second half of the leg (and may not be open on Tofurkey Day), and I had no desire to wear my Camelbak for that long of a day (between 225 and 240 miles).  I told Jeff that if he felt the BD2 would be comfortable on a road bike long haul adventure and if he could put it in my hands before the big day I would have no excuses to not make the journey.

Crap.

Now it’s here in my house in all it’s shiny You Have Been Assimilated Ergon Team Green glory.

The Fajita thinks we should tell Jeff we never got the BD2 as it makes a great book bag and kitty transport device.

Mr Kitty doesn’t really like to travel, but he likes the way the strap feels between his cat legs.

What do you mean “give it back”?

Once I got the pack wrestled away from The Fajita (she’s as weak as a little girl) I got out the manual and started tweaking the fit.  I’m sure I’ll need to get in some rides with it actually loaded and on my back, but I think I’m pretty close to perfect (as well as the pack).  I spent the rest of the night inspecting the pack and looking for weaknesses that will allow me to give it my Seal of Semi-Approval once I get around to a full review.  I seemed to remember someone mentioning that there was not enough organizational dividers in the main compartment.  I noticed that too, but before I could give it my solid Semi-Approval I noticed a pocket, and then another, and another, and… well after awhile it was like counting stars in the sky.  I found so many pockets hidden in various spots on the pack that I would lose track of where I started counting and have to start all over.  As near as I could figure there are between eight and one thousand secret pockets in various spots all over the pack.  I found one so discreet that I asked The Pie what she thought I should put in there.

“Your weed” she said.

“I dont’ smoke weed” I replied.

“Well now you have a reason to start”  The Pie smugly stated.

I’m not gonna start smoking weed just because I have a handy place to put it where it can be accessed without removing the pack… wait a second…. I bet it would be an ideal place for something I need to grab on the go… like gels, a sandwich, or maybe my lip gloss… ooooh and my make-up mirror (you never know where the papparazi might show up)

So tomorrow morning I’m gonna dump the contents of my old Camelbak on the floor and start sticking things in pockets till I run outta pockets or things to stick in them.  I will then head out for a ride on a local trail with enough gear to overhaul my bike and spend three nights out in the wilderness. 

What do people do with all their spare time when they’re not into bike gear?

I shudder at the thought.

Thanks Jeff and damn you at the same time.  I guess I’d better start loading my iPod with some traveling tunes.

Shit.

Oh yeah… what was in the large, flat box?

The Pie isn’t so sure that this needs to be our new kitchen calender as I suggested. 
Pfffttt….women.

Let’s get back to the business of (not always on Thursdays) Sponsor Appreciation posts.  Next up on the alphabetical batting order is MTBTandems.com.  So your asking yourself “Self, what does Team Dicky and tandems have to do with each other in this land where ministers murder golf pros?”  I thought you’d ask.

Back in late 2006 I had an intense desire to own a set of Middleburn cranks for my ultimate 29′er SS build.  I had a hard time finding a distributor or mail order company that sold them in the states, but some sideways google searching pulled up MTBTandems.com.  I gave them a call, and a very enthusiastic Alex Nutt answered the phone.  We chitted and we chatted about cranks, living in the Southeast (they’re based in Georgia), and tandems.  We realized we had some kinda connection, and by the end of the phone call I had a set of cranks and two 1/8″ UNO rings on the way to my house (without having to order them from merry old England). 

I love these cranks.  Although my first Crank Brothers ISIS bottom bracket did not last very long the warrantied one is still going strong.  Let it be known that old schoolers can get Middleburns in square taper form to meet their retro needs.

So clean and elegantly simple.  Thicker than John McCain’s sausage fingers and stiffer than Reggie Hammond when the wind blows.

I love not having chainring bolts.  Although I’m sure a little preventative maintenance will go a long way in regards to those little PITA bolts I find it nice not having to deal with them anymore.  I have suffered from loose or missing bolts often enough that their absence is a welcome advantage (not to mention no more trying to “center” the ring to get rid of tight spots in the chain)  By the way, if you’re into shifty bits and 29′ers you should know that you can get a big wheel friendly range of 20/30/40 tooth rings.  Piss on Shimano anyways.

I swapped out the original ring after one year’s use, and mounted up the new one.  To be honest the Hardcote ceramic coating really held up well, and the ring barely looked used.

See any shark toothed age related wear going on??  Didn’t think so.

Now my second ring is coming up on it’s one year anniversary, and it also barely looks the worse for wear.

Even though they only helped me get my first set of Middleburns almost two years ago Alex and Kim Nutt shall remain on my list of “Nice Stuff” on a long term basis.  Their love for tandem mountain biking drives me to a point of insane jealousy.  I want a tandem MTB almost as bad as I want a 36″ wheeled mountain bike (almost).  So go ahead, click some links, and order your Middleburn stuff now, and while you’re over there pick up a couple tandem frames (one for you and one for me).  Okay???