- Bad Idea Racing - HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

Oh I, Oh I’d
better learn how to face it.

I posted the Sammy for sale on craigslist this past Saturday morning.  The emails came streaming in, and by Sunday afternoon I was meeting up in the Best Buy parking lot with the new owner.  I never realized it would be that easy.  I have owned it for over ten years, and I have contemplated selling it many times in the past.  The Sammy was my only petrol powered transportation when I bought it back in 1998.  I was thinking there was no way I was going to be able to commute by bike from our new home eleven miles from the uptown five days a week.  I figure it would be my once a week transportation, and a weekend trailhead transport. 

I don’t want to bore you with a complete Carfax history of the vehicle, so let’s just say the time felt right to let it go.  There are quite a few financial benefits in releasing the vehicle back into the wild:

* One big chunk of change to put towards next year’s racing
* No insurance ($30 a month)
* No registration ($30 a year)
* No taxes or inspection (@$50 a year?) 
* No unexpected repairs ($2.99- $450 whenever The Sammy felt it was prudent)

Basically $2,000 to put towards 2009, and a $400+ savings every year that it is not in my garage.  Speaking of the garage… I will not have to worry about my next residence (wherever that may be) having a garage (added bonus… would that make them boni?).

There is one huge benefit to selling the Sammy.  I have never invested myself as emotionally into an inanimate object as much as I had with my doorless piece of shit.  I had a love/hate relatioship with it.  I loved the freedom of driving my shitbox around, wind in my (remaining) hair, jamming through the gears, and feeling like I was in a huge go-cart.  I hated when it wouldn’t start, needed more money dumped into it, or just the fact that when I had a “better car” available the Sammy would sit for weeks at a time undriven (yet still insured).  Having so much happiness tied into the vehicle was the best reason to sell it.  I feel a sense of relief now that it’s gone, and I hope the new owner gets his ten years of joy from it.

I did not charge him extra for ten years worth of primo stickers:

When I got home I played Hall and Oates “She’s Gone” at a very high volume much to the non-delight of the rest of my family.  It had to be done.

Crank it up:

If you are affected by the “gas crisis” you must watch this (of course it’s funny).

Friday afternoon I got what I could only consider the coolest news ever.  The Breck Epic stage race WILL HAPPEN in 2009.   In case anybody has forgotten this is the same race that was being proposed back in 2007 for the summer of 2008.  Back when I heard about it I started planning my 2008 “season” around being in Breckenridge for a week in July.  I wrote about my excitement a lot… here, here, here, here, and here.  The promoter was seeking input on MTBR back in November of 2007, and I was sure to throw in my two cents worth (two cents in 2007 dollars which is equivalent to ten dollars now).  Imagine that, a promoter actually asking racers what they would want at a stage race while they’re still in the planning stages of said stage race.  Sweet.

Now I would love to provide you with a link to the Breck Epic, but the website won’t be live for a couple of weeks.  I can assure you that I’ll be checking the URL every hour on the hour, and when there’s something to be seen you’ll be the first to know (well after the promoter, his web guy, his friends, and of course me).  Until that time Mike McCormack (Breck Epic promoter and my new savior) has posted up some provisional information on the outlet for all things MTB worthy and the blathering of thousands of addled brain cycling enthusiasts that is known as MTBR.

Here’s why this will be my number one thing to do with my summer in 2009:

* The race is five stages, Monday through Friday.  That means weekend travel and only five days away from my job thus getting the most outta my time off work

* There will be a solo category in addition to the usual two man stage racing format.  Now, they will be “reviewing resumes prior to accepting”, but come on… who better to fill the midpack of the men’s solo field than an aging single speeder with low aspirations who’s performance can greatly be determined by the proximity of beer near the venue?

* Every stage starts outta Breckenridge.  While I love the traveling circus that is Trans Rockies, BC Bike Race, and La Ruta I love the idea of not having to pack and unpack my shit every damn day.  Also I’ll have better access to beer, and it will be easier to find my way back to the tent on a nightly basis.

* The course sounds like it will be phenomenal. “You can expect very little road riding and even gravel and fire road riding will be minimized. The Breck Epic is intended to be a rugged backcountry experience…The courses will be long. They will be difficult. 90% of the terrain will be above 10,000 feet. “  Damn, I just peed a little more in my pants.

* It’s a stage race in the minor nation of US and A.  That means my frequent flier miles stretch that much further next year.  I won’t have to worry about customs agents finding my EPO, and there won’t be any awkward questions at immigrations about that alleged “kidnapping” that pops up when they scan my passport.  It was a long time ago, it was a blind date, and I never asked for a “ransom”, so quit blowing it outta proportion.

There will be some downsides to planning my whole year around the Breck Epic:

* There will be no Kokanee or Cerveza Imperial in Breckenridge.  I like to drink the local equivalent of Budweiser when I travel abroad for a stage race, but I have a feeling the local equivalent to Budweiser in Breck is.. ummm… Budweiser.

* I’ll be traveling to the SSWC09 which will be held in Durango, CO less than a month later.  God, how awful to have to ride in Colorado twice next year.  Vomit.

* Staying at the same campsite every night means I can’t just leave my trash laying all over the place for the teardown crew to pick up the next day.  It also means that if I pee in my tent vestibule every night things will be a bit unlivable after a few days.

* I might actually have to train for this event.  It sounds like it might be too hard for me to fake it for five days the way I’m used to doing things at a stage race.

* If I race solo I won’t be able to ridicule a partner on a daily basis, and when I blog about the whole experience when I get back I won’t be able to blame my shortcomings on a slow teammate.

* Breckenridge is really close to Denver, which is the home of the Broncos and also the home of the Bronco cheerleaders.  Once again that “kidnapping thing” might be a problem here.  Even though the blind date never crossed state lines, which keeps it from being a federal thing, the local authorities may have some questions for me.  Maybe I should fly into Albuquerque, NM.

That’s all I got to say about that (for today).

See you in Colorado…

Two times….

Wednesady night GW said that people got too much money on credit, but couldn’t afford to pay off the debt they acquired getting all that credit, so the people who gave them money started losing money when all those people couldn’t afford to give them their money back, so we’re gonna take our tax dollars and give them to the people who gave credit to the people who couldn’t afford to pay their debt off so they can get more credit, so they can borrow more money to pay off the debt they acquired while it was too easy for them to get credit.  All I know is things were slow on Wednesday, but I did 50% more work on Thursday, so I can only assume that people were happy and secure again after hearing from our fearless leader. 

I want to buy everyone a plasma screen TV with all the extra money I made yesterday.

When I say “EIGHT” you say “MORE YEARS”*.

I’m sorry.  I know some folks are getting the short end of the stick, but when Joe Six Pack of Michelob Ultra says “I might have to sell my jet skis to make my Hummer payment” while his three kid are in the bonus room arguing over whether they should play Wii or XBox on the flat screen and his wife is fearing that she might have to give up her “mother’s day out” day care shopping trips to Nordstrom’s in order to pay the heating bill on their 3,500 square foot house while the sprinklers are running full blast in the front yard… “How did it come to this?” he asks.

Sorry again.  I know you didn’t come here for such brainy political commentary…. I know you come here for the penis jokes and bike stuff.

Only one more day of Interbike before it’s all over.  I haven’t seen anything yet that will change my life, but I did see something I’ll probably end up owning:

photo cred: singletrackworld.com

It’s hard to tell from the photo, but White Brothers has converted over to post mounts.  While ball bearings used to be all the rage back in 1989 everything’s post mount nowadays.  I’m thinking my next frame will not be suspension incorrect, which is another way of saying it will not be not suspension corrected, so a true 29′er fork is very visible in my crystal ball .  Maybe I’ll need suspension when I get old (like forty), so I better not limit my options this time around.  I watch trends, and it looks like suspension forks might be here to stay.

Cane Creek has improved on their 110 headset line by making one in purple (3-D Violet for the old skool folks). 

 
photo cred: singletrackworld.com

By the looks of the picture it appears that purple is only an option for lower cups, but I think if it catches on (and if demand is high enough) they will use the stunning color on upper cups too.

Peter “Nummer Nuts” Keiller has been playing it up trying to be the Micheal Ball of the mountain bike world.  He’s out in Vegas trying to backdoor a deal with Bad Idea Racing by getting cozy with the folks at Swiftwick and even threatening to come to the deep south for some playtime activities.  Careful there you loose cannon from the Great White North.  My country has invaded lotsa places based on much less of a threat than trying to steal USA’s greatest single speed, endurance racing, blogging, unprofessional, balding (yet mildly attractive) athlete.  You’ve been put on notice.  The Bush Doctrine has a way of dealing with people like you.

Raining out there now.  I was looking at an urban adventure ride to a local trail tomorrow, but that looks like it’s switching over to a *gulp* road ride due to wet trail conditions.

Road riding is the new local cable access channel.

When there’s absolutely nothing else to do there’s always cable access TV.

*This message has been paid for by the Committee to Coronate King Bush.

Like most self-involved bike geeks I’ve been frittering away my spare hours (and wasting some of my useful hours) scanning all the Interbike coverage on the net to see if there’s a product coming out next year that will revolutionize my world.  You know it’s gonna be a bit disappointing when some of the biggest news to come outta the Dirt Demo is the color brown.  Well the show moved indoors yesterday, and I have a feeling that a lot of journalists are loathing the immediacy of the interweb audience.  Back in the day they were probably enjoying carefree drinking benders, but now you gotta get that shit posted stat or people will be looking elsewhere to see close-ups of the color brown.

Speaking of Interbike drinking benders I did find this photo of Karen Brooks (Dirt Rag editor) and I believe that is Manuel Maqueda (writer, photographer, man of honor) standing next to her:

They happen to be standing in front of the very issue (that’s actually a novelty size mock-up of the actual issue) of Dirt Rag that Manuel’s article on last year’s La Ruta appeared in last month.  That would be the same article that stated that I am an EX-messenger.  While I have already busted Karen’s balls in Napa at the SSWC08 and Manuel’s balls via email I would appreciate it if you are at Interbike (and if you are at IB you shouldn’t be reading my blog) could you please represent and bust their respective balls for me.  Perhaps if you see them across a crowded room you could shout “Quit spreading lies about Dicky!”, or “I’m on Dicky’s side!”, or perhaps even “Dicky never did anything to you!  Stop the hate!”… that would be nice.

In the event that I have incorrectly identified that man as Manuel, and he in fact is not, please go ahead and yell at him anyways.  I haven’t seen Manuel since we were hanging out in the jungle last November, so my memory is a little jumbled.  Before he smears anyone else’s reputation let him know (or whoever that guy is) that this injustice shall not continue.

I gotta admit the most disappointing thing about being me during this time of Interbike glamour (there’s lots of disappointment in being me the rest of the year too) is that there’s not alot of new things I can expect in the world of rigid single speeds.  What can really change?  Spot’s belt drive?  Whoopdefreaking do.  Rigid forks that are more rigid and even more forkier?  Single speeds that use black magic to tension the chain?  And what would it matter anyways?  I’ve already got a narrowed down list of frames I might be riding next year, so what if I found a bike with a more rigidder, forkier fork and black magic chain tensioning?  I wouldn’t be riding it next year anyhoo. 

Interbike??  I still wish I woulda went.  I’m getting boobs next year.  I gotta have boobs if I want the full ride.

Late Edit:  Syncros has 31″ bars at Interbike (according to bikerumor.com).  Assuming that Tyler wasn’t drunk and looking at the metric side of his tape measure that seems like something to be excited about.  I am an American after all, and here in the Colonies “bigger is always better” (especially debt).

The gauntlet has been thrown down, and Capt Morgan Underpants and I have decided to pick it up and slap some folks silly with it.

Smoke Bikes is offering a pair of fixie frames (presumably his and hers) for the fastest team on non-coastie bikes at the Double Dare this year.  While Mr Tightie Whitey and I don’t necessarily need another bike frame we could not back down from the direct challenge that we feel was directed directly in our general direction.  Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t need the frame since I’ve been warned that if I win I might end up with “something like a 3″wheelbase or so and possibly a 1″ chainstay so you could squeeze a 3/4″ wheel in it…’

Since the link for the Double Dare just takes you to the PMBAR website at the moment let me take the time to describe the event for your entertainment purposes.  My knowledge of it is based on hearsay and conjecture as this will be my first victory… I mean attempt, so bear with me.  The race starts at noon Saturday and you and your teammate have till midnight to get as many checkpoints as you can.  The race then goes on hiatus till 6:00am on Sunday, at which point you and your teammate have till 6:00pm to collect as many checkpoints (different from the day before) as you can.  Each days’ checkpoints are not disclosed until the last moment (and last year it was even later than that), and some checkpoints involve feats of strength that include PBR and BB guns.  So basically two 12 hour races, separated by a 6 hour break, wandering around the Pisgah National Forest, and with some shenanigans thrown in.

It’s been awhile since Bad Idea Racing has lived up to its name, so I’m looking forward to this event even more now.  The best “bad idea” for 2009 that has been tossed around so far was to take up a collection to scrounge up enough money to head to Michigan with a recumbent and do the Lumberjack 100.  Since that’s looking more and more like a pipe dream I guess I’ll just have to settle for this right now.

I either need to be way faster or way slower than this if I wanna have any semblance of a good time:

*vurp*

BTW: 
I can’t believe the news today
Last night I closed my eyes,
Today Clay Aiken’s gay

 

Back in 2001 I was racing shifty-squishy bikes and hell bent on racing 12’s and 24’s till my legs fell off.  I invested in two identical pairs of Shimano M-320’s so I could have a spare pair of freshies if I needed them.  Although they were yellow, purple, silver, blue, black, and yelllow-orange (ish) they quickly unseated the Sidi Dominator as my favorite shoe.

The M-320’s had rubber lugs unlike their high end Sidi counterparts which had silly hard plastic lugs that were slippery as shit when walking in the Pisgah.  The fit was spot-on, and I just love having clicky buckle shoes.  There was a downside:

Toe spike holes.  Toe spikes are as worthless as Lehman Brothers stock.  The  downside is that the little metal things that replaced them were more slippery than polytetrafluoroethene.  I removed them entirely, but that only exposed to front of the shoe to premature wear (as evidenced in the picture).  These were the best shoes ever, but time has not been their best friend, and they have only been recently brought back outta retirement temporarily (like Lance) to fill the shoe shoes of the aging Tinker Stinkers.

When the M-320’s were no longer the bees knees I had to replace them.  I committed to the NUE series back in 2006, and new shoes were on order.  I found a pair of M-181’s on sale, and since I loved my other poorly named Shimano shoes (I mean seriously, are these things Terminators or shoes?) I scooped up a pair.

The non-carpet fiber soles were adorned with rubber lugs, the color scheme a little less “queer eye for the straight guy’ than the M-320’s, and I still got to play with a buckle which kept the little Dutch boy in me happy.  Every used mattress has a shit stain somewhere, and these shoes were no exception to that rule.  These shoes sported three, yes three, toe spikes.  I removed the stupid metal inserts and just sucked it up.  In no time the front of the shoe was trashed (in Shimano’s defense they suggested that you either run the spikes or the inserts).

 

A great pair of shoes gone to the bad because somewhere out there someone thinks toe spikes are a good idea on mountain bike shoes.  Who’s using these damn things?  Confess you bastards!!!!!  Why can’t somebody make my dream shoe???? 

What’s my dream shoe??

Rubber outter sole with NO TOE SPIKES
Non-carbon mid-sole (carbon soles are too stiff for hike-a-bike, which happens to be a big part of SS’ing)
Two velcro straps and one clicky buckle strap (cause buckles look so Robocop)
A tongue that stays in one place
No more than three colors (I’m counting black as a color here)
A really cool name like “M-something numerical and three digits long”

That could only happen in my dreams, right???
Wrong.

Introducing the creatively named M-085.

This shoe is the brain child of someone at Nashbar (yes, a mail order demon of the second level) and the folks at Shimano.

Here’s the description:

“If you’re a serious about the trail, then you know you need a shoe with an uncompromising fit that’s stable, resilient and offers a solid pedaling platform. The MO85 is a high-level, off-road performer designed for all types of cyclists at a price that wont break the bank. 1 Ratchet and 2 offset Velcro straps secure your foot. SPD compatible.”

Let’s see, does it meet my criterias?  Without scrolling back up to look up at them I would have to say yes.  Who cares?  The marketing on this shoe plays dead-on to the consumer in me, so much so that I ordered two pair sight unseen.  I’m “Serious about the trail”, and I could use all the stability and resilience I can get.  It’s like someone crawled in my ear, looked at the shoe lobe in my brain, took a picture with one of those mini spy cameras, took the microfilm back to Nashbar headquarters, phoned up Yozo
Shimano, and said “We must make great shoe for Dicky, and perhaps he will put us on his blog”.

“What size does he wear” asked Yozo.
 ”Dunno” replied the miniature Shimano spy, “Better make some 43’s and  a few 44’s to be on the safe side”.

That’s right, they only have 43’s and 44’s in stock, so they musta been thinking about me when they went into production on these bad boys.*

So what do I think of the shoes?  I’ve had two rides in them so far, and I can honestly say they do what shoes should do.  The soles are entirely rubber, and the instep portion is wide enough to keep a decent footing on a slippery rock.   Not getting clipped in right away on a nasty technical section doesn’t necessarily mean certain death when you’ve got a little rubber on the pedal (try that with your exposed carbon soled shoe).  The lugs do look “enthusiast level”, but who sees the bottom of your shoe anyways?

Would I recommend them?  Does this answer your question?

Ahhhhh…. the Team Dicky Seal of Semi-Approval.  Why only Semi-Approval?

The toe box area is squared off like a pair of boots.  Most racing shoes are pointed at the end like a pair of fashionable lady shoes, and there’s a good reason for it.  Pointed shoes are faster.  If I just focus on riding I don’t notice it so much, but if I catch the shoe in my peripheral I start to slow down.  I can’t help it.  For one to be fast one must look fast, and these shoes look half-fast.

We’ll see how they do on a longer ride in the next month or so.

*Late edit:  Nashbar is now showing zero shoes in stock.  Wow, I can sell porn to the Pope, and even he knows you can get that shit for free.  Now I see these shoes are also in stock (in most sizes) over in merry old England.

While Peter was up north Cranking the Shield (which I think is Canadian for “flogging the bishop”, which is Vatican for “mastering the puppet”, which is Metallican for “playing with one’s self”) I stayed down south and just read his updates.  It was like being there… assuming that being there wasn’t very thrilling or full of details.  With all the time I saved living vicariously through Peter and not doing the race I found myself with a lot of free time this weekend.

Saturday I got to go on a casual paced ride at Anne Springs (the venue for the Tree Shaker 12 Hour race in October).  That was enough to convince me that I don’t need to be doing the race this year.  If I ride around there for twelve hours I won’t be able to handily dominate the competition (alongside Capt Morgan) at the Double Dare the following weekend.  Priorities, you know.  I guess SSlohio can have his shot at the seventh most important race on the international calender and a chance to add to his bounty.  I’m probably gonna change sports anyways since I picked up an Easton stainless steel bocce set at Goodwill over the weekend.  I didn’t realize there was a sport that allowed you to free up one hand to hold a beer.  Sweet.

Sunday was the one year anniversary of Nia OFFICIALLY being a Dillen, so most of the days activities were centered around that theme.  I did spend some time on Sunday looking into the possibility of selling of my Dirty Box to get a more gas efficient Honda Fit.  Even though I own my Box outright I would have to drive a Fit for almost five years to break even on the “improved efficiency” thing VS “money lost getting a new car” thing.  I know the “American way” is to buy first and ask questions later, but I’ve never been really good at being an American.  I realize that if gas goes up to $6 or $7  a gallon that break-even point would come faster, but if gas gets that high I think I’ll be more focused on paying $9 for a pound of bananas from Chile.

This morning I hit the 135 pound mark for the first time in 2008 (the latter half).  This is an all time record for me as I don’t tend to backslide this much till December (post Thanksgiving).  This is probably due to the fact that I never really got a foothold in the mid 120’s over the summer.  At this rate I do not think Run Club 2009 is an option, and it may even have to start a month early for me. 

By the way:  The new Twin Six stuff is up and ready for your eyes (has been, but I’m always the last to know).  I still have a soft spot for the Darkside, but newer is the new new.  Still no sleeveless, but luckily for me all the sleeves are still removable for 2009.  Drooling yet?  Did someone say “bibs“?  Do they make a control top version?

Do not attempt to adjust your screens. I assure you this is me, and those are most certainly my corduroys.

Yesterday I was surprised when The Pie called me to tell me she already had Tinker in the car.  I guess I forgot to mention it, but Tinker will be staying at my house for a week or so.  With the short notice we were given it kinda slipped my mind.  I’m not sure what he’s going to do while he’s hanging out with us in Charlotte, but I do know he’ll be sleeping in a cage.  I just don’t trust him wandering around at night.  With my luck he’ll be rooting through the cupboards and shitting on the floor.  After his bath last night the whole house smelled like wet dog, and there was hair all over the place.  When we were all ready for bed he just wouldn’t shut up, and it seemed like he wanted us to stay up with him all night.  I guess he’s just not used to sleeping through the night.

I hope he gets along with our long term foster dog Wally since he doesn’t really take well to strangers.

Tinker will go back to the Humane Society (they named him, not me) when we are done with our one week foster stint.  I think I heard a rumor that we should soon be expecting a litter of kittens named Overend, Tomac, and Rishi.

Bike stuff on the bike blog?? Sure, why not?

What’s going on in the bike blog world lately?  It’s too early for people to be spending all their time riding “base miles”, so why are so many blogs falling silent, or even worse… turning lame?  I’m pretty bored at work nowadays , so I implore you to start typing something now.  Like your mother used to say “If you don’t have something nice to say, say something mean, funny, or at least interesting.  Otherwise your blog will suck ass”.  Maybe your mom didn’t say that, but mine sure as hell did.  If your life is too boring to write about then just making something up.  It’s the internet.  Everybody’s doing it.

Peace, or if you live in minor nation of US and A, the lack thereof.

Lest we forget.

Still looking into my crystal ball wondering what could be….

Interbike?  I check the ticket prices daily.  I have a a maximum I would be willing to spend, and plenty of places to crash if I could just get there.  Unfortunately I have to consider this:
Ticket price + unpaid time of work = fewer cool races in 2009

The weekend of Oct 4th?  I have a free pass on Saturday, but I also have dog duty.
 
*I could hang out with these guys… oops, I mean these guys.  Lotsa riding in the woods and some beers, but since I’d be heading to Pisgah Saturday morning alone it means burning up $50-60 in gas split one way (not a very good split).

*I could drive less than forty minutes and defend my 2007 SS title at the Treeshaker 12 Hour Challenge.  Free food and a great race, but riding in circles for 12 hours two weeks before the Double Dare (don’t click that link as Eric “PMBAR Honcho” Wever still doesn’t have the DD info up) may not be a good idea.

*I could hang out near the house, ride locally, but think globally.

I’m thinking a lot about next year too.  I’ll be forty years old, so I probably want to have a summer to remember (that’s just the excuse I’ll give The Pie so I can add a few $$$’s to the racing budget).

What do I want to do for sure?

*Get a physical.  I’ll be due for one next year, and maybe while I’m there I’ll ask a bunch of questions regarding all the little aches and pains I’m currently wishing would go away.  A complete physical is kinda like every less than desirable party experience I ever had in college packed into less than an hour.

I get naked, usually pretty early on, and more than likely I’m the only person doing it..
I pee in a cup when I’m left unattended.
Someone gets to third base, but it’s not me.
I spend a half hour with a strange woman, but I end up having to pay $100 for the experience.
There are needles, uncomfortable conversations, and I’ll end up losing a little blood before it’s all over.
Someone’s gonna try to stick their fingers in my butt.
A few days later I’ll find out if I have chlamydia or not.

*SSWC09 in Durango.  This is a must do event.  I’m sure a lot of the things that happen at my physical will be repeated, but this time I won’t have a co-pay.

*One major stage race.  This will be a tough one to pull off.  I should have some money from sponsors (even if I have to sneak it outta their wallets when they’ve had to much to drink), but that will only cover a season similar to 2008.  I never got outta this minor nation of US and A all year, and I’m itching for some kind of maple leaf loving in 2009.  I’m gonna have to open a lemonade stand or wash cars in my bikini to pull this off.

So this brings me back to Interbike.  Let it be known that I don’t want to go in order to cruise the halls looking for 2009 sponsors interested in funding my dreams.  I’m sure if I walk around saying “Next year I’m gonna get groped by a lady in a lab coat, get drunk for a week in Durango, and piss away $2,000 in Canada.  Want some?”  I won’t get a very good response.  No, like any other bike related journey I want to see for myself what Interbike is all about, experience it first hand rather than vicariously through MTBR, use it as an excuse to get away from a normal life for a few days, and come home jaded and slightly ashamed of my behavior.   

I am 100% man, and I’ve always been 100% man (except for a cross-dressing phase in the late eighties, and I might mention that everyone was doing it at the time).  When I feel the sound waves bouncing off my chest from a passing V8 engine I feel inspired to grab a long stick and fashion it into a spear and immediately head out into the wild looking to kill a boar or something else that seems exotic or endangered.  When I pull back on the trigger of my circular saw and hear the whine of the board as I mercilessly tear it up into tiny little pieces I am overwhelmed with the urge to don a loin cloth and search for fire.  I can’t help myself.  I am but flesh, instinct, and an autonomic nervous system.

Recently Cane Creek (outta Fletcher, NC) was friendly enough to extend a laurel and hearty handshake my way.  Although I already have a headset that should last me 110 years they are willing to do whatever it takes to get me on the big podium next year… well everything except send money, buy me a private jet, sabotage my competition, or build me my own big podium that I can keep in my backyard so I can practice standing on big podiums.  So after perusing their website I scratched my head and thought “What can the Dos C do for me?”.

They make these things:

I think they mount to your screen door so you don’t have to close it manually.  I don’t think I’ll be needing one of those.

They also make these:

Replacement screen door handles?  What is it with these guys and screen doors?  Maybe some kind of super terminator male sex cell?  Garden nozzles… that’s it.  I don’t water my lawn, so I have no use for those either.

They do make some cool things which make my head spin when I think of the possibilities.  Maybe with their help I could build up a sick cyclocross bike with these brakes, these levers, and some bad-ass track wheels.  What?  Track wheels on a cross bike?  Why would anybody want a freewheel cross bike?  Seems counter intuitive to me.  What’s the challenge of hopping off a bike while you’re going fifteen miles an hour if your pedals aren’t spinning at the same time?

What was I talking about before I got hyperactive with the hyperlinkage??

Oh yeah, being a man… that’s right.

As JFK said “Ask not what Cane Creek can do for you, ask what cool stuff they got that you don’t know about from looking at the website”. 

How ’bout a tool?  Nothing makes you feel more like a man than the feel of purposefully shaped metal in the palm of your hand.

Not just any tool, but the kind of tool that a bike geek would give up a left nut and permanent use of his eyebrows to have in his toolbox.*  This is the kind of tool an accomplished home bike mechanic should not be without.  We all start out with the same Park multi-tool and cheap Rivoli chain breaker, but for some of us our tool boxes are never full enough.  Allen wrenches are just the gateway drug in the world of bike tool addiction.  Sooner or later you’re buying tensiometers, truing stands, and seventh hand brake tools.  While the purchase of a big ticket item may be more exciting than listening to The Final Countdown for a week straight, there is nothing more satisfying than the acquisition of a proprietary tool.

You’re looking at a machined set of headset press adapters from the Dos C.  They enable you to press in a Cane Creek headset without damaging the cups or bearings.  While they were not shipped in a felt lined box I’m sure that will be an option in 2010 (just a feeling actually).

I retired to the bathroom with the instructions for a informational constitutional.  Lucky for me I had eaten my usual 352% RDA of fiber as it was quite a light read.

As excitable as I may be I did not pop out my Cane Creek 110 headset just so I could try the new tool out reinstalling it.  I’m sick, but I’m not that sick.  It’ll have to wait till I get my 2009 race frame (yes, there will be a new frame in my future).  Even though I’ve not had the chance to put this tool to use I am now prepared to pull out the image that Peter created for me for moments like these.

Introducing the Team Dicky Seal of Semi-Approval:

As you can see by the image of me that Peter selected the Team Dicky Seal of Semi-Approval will always have a slight disappointment attached to it.  I am never 100% satisfied with any product, but for the average consumer I can go ahead and recommend that you “BUY THIS PRODUCT”.  Being a regular human you will probably be 100% satisfied with these chunks of anodized aluminum, but I can find fault in anything, and to be honest the Cane Creek headset tool adapters are no different.  They seem like a great product, but the fact that they did not come in a felt lined box can not be overlooked.  Let’s hope they get some prototype felt lined boxes going in 2009 (which I will be more than happy to test), and maybe they will be in full production by 2010.

Oh yeah, big news!!!!  BC Bike Race has added a single speed category for 2009 (assuming there are at least five SS teams registered, they submit to rigorous hourly drug testing, and they agree to stop looking down their noses at the inferior geared bike racers).  So anyways, who’s got $4,000 they want to piss away?  Join me on an adventure(on your dime), and I’ll make you infamous on my blog in 2009.**

*Sorry.  That was a very sexist statement.  How ’bout “but the kind of tool that a bike geek would give up a left ovary and the use of her oven mitts to have in her toolbox”.  I’m talking about the good $30 novelty oven mitts that hang on a brass hook next to the oven, yet never see the inside of an oven.  Better???   Thought so.

**  I will guarantee that I will post at least ten pictures of you over five days of blogging.  I will also link your name to your blog (we all have them, right?) when I mention you and how “great of a teammate” you were.  If you come up with enough money for my plane ticket I will even mention you in my re-hash of the BC Bike Race experience.  Although we will be sharing a tent, cuddling will cost you extra (yes, Timmy came up with the extra cash in 2007, and he will tell you I was worth every penny).